suzuharatoji:

please look at this picture of michelle obama and sportacus

image

(via alliepooh1231)

beyoncempire:

when u accidentally laugh at a joke about u

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(Source: beyoncempire, via lockedandtheresnoescape)

neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

(via lockedandtheresnoescape)

inseamslemurs:

The year is 23 Million A.D. The sun has cooled, life on Earth long ago ended. Disney is still building the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train.

(via immatyrantlizard)

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

batreaux:

You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

image

(via immatyrantlizard)

hoserfucker:

DO U EVER JUST REMEMBER SOMEONE WHO PRETTY MUCH FUCKED UP YOUR LIFE AND THEN UR LIKE WOW I WAS SO FUCKING STUPID TO ALLOW THEM INTO MY LIFE FOR A STARTERS WHY DIDN’T I PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE WHILE I HAD THE CHANCE I’M GLAD THEY ARE GONE BY NOW

(via immatyrantlizard)

alluviom:

sometimes I feel guilty for skipping songs on my phone like I’m sorry song I love you I’m just not in the mood for you I’ll come back later though.

(via immatyrantlizard)

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